More snippets...

23 Sept...

I love the suprises around each corner. I'm sitting across from Dave Hodgson on the plane from Jo'burg to Kampala... Turns out there are quite a few on this flight for the conference and we've all been chatting away which has been so nice. I ran into Taryn Swadling in the bathroom in the departure lounge. I haven't seen her for about 4 years so that was a little random! She's heading to the conference too so I'm sure we'll have a chance to catch up over the next few days... I'm getting excited in my spirit about what is going to happen in the next little bit. I don't know what is unfolding but I'm excited to be a part of it...


25th Sept...

I think I'm in emotional sensory overload... arriving here, Uganda felt strangely familiar... I've felt safe and at peace the entire time and the conference staff have bent over backwards to accomodate all of us. The church is only 3 blocks away from the hotel and I've enjoyed walking there in the mornings. At night I've taken the bus provided for us but I would feel equally safe walking home... Yesterday they took us to the babies home 'bullrushes' where the children stay until they are about 2 years old before they go into the villages. We go out to the villages for lunch on Saturday.

This morning the focus was largely on the child soldiers. Just thinking about the stories makes me want to weep but I'll save that for when I get to my room. We heard a testimony from one of the boys, David, who was abducted at 12 and forced to kill his friends and then villages of people... he's now 17? i think and wants to be a doctor so he can save lives instead of taking them...

One of the speakers is Robbi Sonderegger? (something like that)... and he deals with child trauma and has written a program that began in Northern uganda and now has spread the world... incredibly inspiring...

27th Sept...

I can't believe this amazing African Adventure is almost at an end (this time anyway) I've met some truly amazing people here. Wilberforce, Trinity, McLeenand Francis from here in Uganda, Kin from Hong Kong, Taryn and Simon and the rest of the guys from South Africa, the New Zealand bunch.... SO incredibly different and yet with such a desire to see God do something incredible on this beautiful continent. Today I got to hang out with two great guys from the States, Mark and Isaac. I guess Isaac is really now from Mozambique. He's been 'sent out' from there church in the States to start a church and orphanage in Moz. They really were so much fun and made what could have been a hard day a lot of fun. THe offer made in jest to me about going to Moz to help out is something I'll really think about... But I'm determined to not do anything until I'm sure it's God and He's coming with me!

30th Sept...

Day 2 in London and I'm sitting in the Garden Cafe in Regent's park eating my ploughmans lunch and escaping the rain. I'm also giving my legs a rest and consulting my map! It seems I've walked quite a way so far already... but am a little nervous to attempt the tube just yet. Roy has put me up in a hotel and organised a car to pick me up from the airport which was so lovely... I haven't managed to see him yet but we will catch up soon!


5th Oct...

I had a long conversation with a homeless man today. I don't know his name. I'm not sure he does either. He asked for change and I gave him what I had in my pocket. He didn't want me to walk away, craving human contact and someone to hear his story. I listen for a while as the words streamed from him. In a mixed up, garbled fashion he told of abuse going back who knows how long. The confused jumble of words defied reason and I listened for a point at which I could bring truth. It didn't come and eventually I sad I had to go. My attempts to bring Light into the situation with my words failed and I walked away with a new revelation. This life needs to be real so far beyond words and rational thought. Words, these beautiful words that I love failed. They, in and of themselves could not bring light. As powerful as they can be, they did not contain within them the power to reach this man. Only God can cut through the darkness and confusion of that man's thoughts, but more than that, his soul...

Snippets from around the world...

So finally I'm updating! Just a few snippets from the notes I've been taking along the way...

18th Sept...
SItting in Jo'burg airport day 2 waiting to board a flight to Cape Town. Mbizi Backpackers is a great place to stay and I woke refreshed ready to see the world. Patrick was great to talk to last night about the state of things in South Africa and even if half of what he says is true, the place seems to be in a bit of a mess with no real idea of how to fix itself. From his persepective, he wants to be out of here in 2 years... he's giving the place about 6 years to implode... He's just waiting around now for '2010' to make his millions before getting out.
The half day tour of Soweto was so interesting and left me wanting to know so much more about this place. Chabo, our guide said the common phrase is 'when Soweto sneezes, all of South africa gets a cold' and you can begin to see what he means. Any understanding of South Africa has to include an understanding of Soweto, and and understanding of Soweto has to go back a long way... I found myself looking at the architects of Aparthied on a DVD today andI wanted so much to reach throug the screen and the the arrogance and self righteousness out or them and scream "who do you think you are?!" If I felt that after one morning, is it any wonder that people who live here and live through this can turn to violence? And so the country now lives with this violence begotten by violence and things don't seem to be getting any better...
I know I'm being simplistic and have no real understanding of the state of things. I really hope I'm wrong and things are much better than I've stated.

19th Sept...
On the ferry back from Robben Island...
I'm not sure what to write about it... I'm finding it so hard to verbalise my thoughts and feelings. THe tour was funny and poigniant and confronting and enlightening and ver moving. To see the cell where Mandela - 466/64 - spent 18 years of his life and to hear the stories of the cruelty and indignity inflicted on him and so many others for so many years is so heart breaking I just want to cry...

21st Sept...
My last day in Cape Town and I have to say I've loved it... Well apart from the Sunburn that is! After Robben Island on Saturday I spent the rest of the afternoon at the waterfront just wandering around. Despite the touristy-ness of it all it is still quite a pretty place. I loved sitting listening to all of the different accents and opinions float by. The sad part is, you could come to Cape Town, stay in the 'safe' confines of the Waterfront and not see the rest of what Cape Town has to offer. wandering up Long St and down the myriads of lanes, taking in the sights and sounds... It was so nice to just soak up the atmosphere.
Yesterday I caught the city hop on, hop off tour bus and went up to cable mountain. Once up there the views over Cape Twon and the surrounds are spectacular. I went exploring a little down some of the more difficult paths and not suprisingly, the crowds didn't follow. For a little while there - probably about half an hour - I didn't see of hear another soul. I felt completely removed from everyone and everything and it was really quite something....

22nd Sept...
You just never know the conversations you are going to have! My driver this morning was a guy my age called David. He's lived in Cape Town his whole life and wants to see the world one day. He assures me that had he met me earlier he would have taken me out to experience the night life Cape Town has to offer - places I wouldn't have been game enough to go on my own... we got talking about sport, rugby, soccer, cricket golf... I told him I knew Aaron Baddeley's sister through church and that got the conversation onto God and Christianity... David has decided God must have it in for him as he keeps getting 'converteds' in his car...

22nd Sept...
Justfound this quote and I loved it. "Travel is only useful if you go open to the possibility of surrendering parts of what has formed you in exchange for the newer perspectives offered by difference - if you go out of curiosity and respect. If you enter a place on it's own terms. But tourism is travel with it's heart ripped out." Robyn Davidson, Guardian Travel Writer...
Maybe that's why I hate looking like a tourist so much!

More later....

Freaking out just quietly...

So it's down to the last minute stuff now. I still can hardly believe that in a little over a week I'll be on my way. After months of thinking about it, talking about it, planning, scrimping and saving, it's finally here...
So my accommodation for Africa is booked. I had the realisation the other night that I was going to actually be one of those people who steps off a plane and has someone standing there waiting for me with my name on a card... SO not me! But fun!
England is shaping up and Scotland is definitely on the cards. A three day tour taking in the Island of Skye should be so much fun. Oliver will be joining me for that one... Oh! and I won a Eurail Pass!!!!! Actually I won two! 3 countries, 5 days in 2 months! I found out today. Crazy stuff.
And I have the privilege of house sitting in LA! So many things have fallen into place for this trip. I wonder if God is looking forward to it as much as I am!

In other news, I had such a great birthday yesterday. I was so nice to sleep in a relax before a spot of shopping and a movie. After two long months of searching I finally found a pair of jeans. I had pretty much given up the search but on mum's encouragement tried on one more pair. So glad I did!

Then Thai for dinner - impossible to go wrong with that restaurant! And great company... I'm looking forward to catching up with most of the family next Sunday for a great time to hang out and spend time before I go! Ok, so freaking out once again...

Contentment

So I ran into an old friend at the Shopping Centre the other day. I use that term for want of a better one. I guess we were friends at one point, probably quite close but have not been in contact for a good 10 or more years and have made no effort to stay in touch. As inevitably happens in these situations the 'life achievements' comparison occurred. On paper how did I score? Not too well as it happens. It seems that one needs to come equipped to these conversations with a wedding ring, (or at least an engagement ring), a brilliantly successful and well paid career OR being employed full time in ministry, a substantial mortgage for the mansion in the suburbs and as an added bonus, a few kids. Now lets see... 0/5! Gee if only they had seen me a while ago, I could have at least ticked... well, one box anyway! Goodness, what have I wasted the last 30 years on!
It was only a 5 minute conversation with the obligatory exchange of phone numbers and promises to keep in touch... who knows, maybe we will but somehow I doubt it... And the weirdest thing is, I walked away feeling light and happy and a little bit sorry for my old friend, who spent the 5 minutes trying to prove something to me. I'm not entirely sure what it was they were trying to prove, but it was almost like my opinion of them was ultra important and they couldn't waste that opportunity to impress me, all the while making themselves feel better because they had done more stuff than me...
I don't know how much of the fact that I felt content was because I know I have an amazing adventure coming up, but honestly, I think a large part of it is that I'm FINALLY getting the point that the stuff, achievements, notability is not what its about. it really is about loving God and loving people and doing the best you can with what you have. maybe that sounds corny and simplistic but maybe it really isn't supposed to be complicated... Just a thought...

An innocent abroad...

It seems like it's been forever since I last updated. So here goes! Well work continues to be interesting, unpredictable and challenging. And try as I might my bank balance doesn't seem to grow! I guess that's because I keep buying bits and pieces for the trip so I can't complain. For those of you who don't know, I'm getting on a plane in ...37 days! I'll be gone for about 3 1/2 months at this point... who knows how I'll cope with that. It may turn out to be longer of a whole lot shorter!

My adventures begin in South Africa - flying into Johannesburg and then possibly on to Cape Town for a few days before flying from Jo'burg to Uganda. There I will have amazing experience of attending the Hope for Africa's Children Conference (see www.watoto.com) No safaris planned at this stage. I would be more than content with the conference and possibly getting Cape Town and seeing Robben Island. I couldn't tell you how incredible it would be to visit such a significant sight and feel a little of the history of Mandela and this Country...

Then after Africa I head to London for a few weeks and then Ireland. I'll try and catch up with some of the family and then I've booked myself on a Shamrocker bus tour of the South. I'm really looking forward to that! It's a 5 day tour taking in the Hill of Tara, Connemara, Galway, the cliffs of Mohar, Doolin and Killarney, Blarney and then back to Dublin...

And then it's off to Holland to meet up with Airin for a little bit. The pan is to drive with her to Paris via Belgium.... It's a tough life I know! In Paris I'll meet up with another friend Oliver (if he can get some time off!) and we'll travel around a bit. No idea where exactly, but that's part of the fun! The Mediterranean has been mentioned as has Germany. I'd love to see Italy and possibly Spain... or Greece... and then there's Switzerland and Austria... and I'd really love to see Auschwitch before I leave Europe but we'll see if that is possible... so a bit of a whirl wind trip!

And then it's back to London before flying off the the US of A. I land in New York and am so excited! I'm going to love exploring this amazing city for a week before heading off to LA where I get to hang out with Josiah for a bit and catch up with my friend Zoe! Yay!

It seem huge and overwhelming and surreal and yet it's happening in 37 days!

No doubt, more updates to follow...

Finding inspiration in unexpected places...

It was my last official day at work today. It felt a little anti-climactic really. The whole place is in the throes of 'Conference mode' - a term you get familiar with at places like Hillsong! It was strange to not be a part of it at be rushing around doing important things...

Oh well, I'm off for my second PCA shift tomorrow, starting at 6am! Who starts work at such an inhumane hour?!? I had my first shift last Saturday and it was o.k.! It was down at Mornington and the day room looked right out over the Ocean. It really was beautiful. The facility was quite nice too. All the residents had their own private ensuite rooms and a gym and a day room, a kitchen and chapel. And of course the sea view day room! And their were some people who enjoy it there and some who struggled... One man had lived there for 5 years and one lady had been there for about 6 weeks. She had buried her husband the week before I was there and was one of the most positive people I have met. Of course she was in grief and was able to express that but in the midst of her sadness has such an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It was breath taking and inspiring and I find myself asking the question 'how do you get like that?'

I also had a chance to watch Oprah this week (I can almost hear the groans now...) and she was doing a special on death. Her guests were two of the most incredible people, both of whom have cancer. That alone peaked my interest and I was so glad I continued to watch. Her first guest was a girl about my age named Kris Carr diagnosed with incurable cancer in 2003 and a few weeks into her diagnosis, picked up a video camera to document her journey and the end result was her documentary 'crazy sexy cancer'. Once again, such an inspiring person! (I need a new word for inspiration)


The other guest was Randy Pausch - a name you may be familiar with. Just such a determined and positive man in the face of his horrible and definite circumstance. And that gets me thinking about just how much we (well, I at least) allow circumstance to determine my outlook on life. How easily I am swayed by things that come across my path. I don't want things to have so much influence in how I live each day. How do you get good at not allowing circumstance to dictate your mood or outlook without shutting off emotions? I'm becoming more and more aware of the need to be 'present' each moment and paying attention to my thoughts and feelings and reactions to things, but how do you then not let that dictate? How do you actually change mindsets?

I'd love to hear your thoughts...

The Edge of a Season...

I'm not really in the mood to blog tonight but maybe that's why I should. I've struggled today with a whole range of emotions and am not entirely sure what I've ended up with. This is my last week at work I think and it seems strange to be leaving. My position has been made redundant as it's hard to be a Personal Assistant to someone who isn't there any more. I had a really great conversation with one of the elders of the church last week named Phil - kind of a 'where to from here?' deal and I wish I knew the answer. As disappointed as I was about the way my leaving this role has been handled, I have to say there is a part of me that is looking forward to what comes next. During this conversation, Phil was able to challenge me about all sorts of things and I saw that I can hide in my job, not having to engage with the outside world, but at the same time getting frustrated that I had very little opportunity to engage with the outside world! Am I the only one who tries to avoid the thing I think will actually bring me some kind of fulfillment because it's confronting and scary and somewhat overwhelming? I don't know what it is that will bring me fulfillment, but I know it's not sitting behind a desk all day...
So tomorrow I'm signing up with a job agency and we'll see what comes of that. I'm not sure I'm ready for the outside world but I have to trust the God has me covered. I've never been very good at embracing the unknown but sometimes the best thing that can happen is to be given no choice. I guess we'll see how it goes!

New take on Poverty...

I have absolutely no time to post but found this and thought it was interesting...

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/03/30/the_sting_of_poverty/?page=full

I hope the link works!

PS - loved your post Matt - will respond soon!

A brand new year... and then the bit after that...

It's so confronting to think it's that time of year again... How did that happen?!? In some ways it feels like I've only just left Sydney and life as I had come to know it and moved back to Victoria and a new chapter. It's so strange looking back over the last 12 months and seeing all that has happened. Personally it's been one of my most painful and yet oddly enough, one of my most rewarding years. I learnt volumes about myself and who I really am and what I'm like in difficult situations. I have to say I haven't liked myself all of the time but I think I liked myself and knew myself better at the end of the year than I did at the start so that's a good thing I guess!



This last year has had some interesting themes also... one of which had been about me finding purpose and passion... neither of which I feel any clearer about but I guess everything is preparation for that moment when it all gets that little bit clearer and I feel like I'm finally on the path to knowing my reason for being alive. Still got quite a ways to go on that one. I envy people who know exactly why they get up in the morning and can't wait to leap out of bed and get started....


So all of the above was written in January and I've only just now gotten back to it. It so easy for the time to slip by without me even being aware that it has gone. How did we get to March already?!? It's been a pretty full on year so far. We moved house and I have to say I miss living with MMJJ and baby - although I'm sure they're glad of the space back! It was such a great time where we were able to just hang out and spend some quality time and I really appreciated it!

Work continues to provide opportunity and challenge. I'm finding that when I allow myself to be taught I'm learning some great lessons of the practical out workings of Christianity, leadership and church life in general. I have the privilege of working with some really great people so that's fantastic and work paid for my registration to go up to Colour Your World Conference in Sydney this lat weekend which was a bonus! It was my 6th Colour to be a part of an only my second as a delegate. The speakers were so so incredible this year. J John was so funny and poignant, Priscilla Shirer was revelational and Louis Giglio was just speaking straight from God's heart to mine or so it felt.

And we got to stay for church on Sunday morning and then the album recording back at Acer Arena on the Sunday night. I can't remember such a powerful night of worship. It was truly amazing. I know that word gets overused all the time but I was stunned. The highest point I think for me was when Mike Guglielmucci got up on stage and sang his song 'Healer' complete with oxygen nasal prongs and guitar. He just sang the most beautiful love song from the heart and the rest of the auditorium stood with him in such a declaration of faith. It was stunning.After being told he had weeks to live quite a while ago now and being restricted to a wheelchair to seeing him today, I don't know where he's up to in battling the cancer but he just so faithfully continues to declare the goodness and faithfulness of God in the midst of his circumstance. I take so much inspiration from him. I hope if I was faced with such a situation I would so boldly and unwaveringly declare the love and grace of God...

So I think I've carried on enough for one entry. I would like to get back in the habit of this blog thing. I like it as a form or just getting stuff out there regardless of whether anyone reads it or not...